Carissa's Wierd

I'm a silly boy. I haven't visited a dentist since 1987. The blame for this lies in the physical and mental trauma inflicted on me by my dentist at that time. He was a monster who seemed to revel in my fear and pain.

While not up to the gleaming standards of Keith Richards' or David Bowie's dental upgrades, my most visible molars are actually doing quite nicely, but out of sight, at the back of the mouth, problems are lurking. I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say that if and when I do pluck up the courage to sign up to a new dentist, there'll be serious surgery involved. Surprisingly I've had no actual pain from my teeth over the last 25 years, perhaps if I had, it would have given me the kick I needed to seek out and join a new dental practice.

Last night, however, I woke at 1.30am with a prodding discomfort at the back of my mouth, but on the opposite side to where I would have expected. I took some painkillers and worried for a couple of hours before drifting off to sleep again. Come this morning, after closer inspection, it appears a piece of peel or pip had become wedged between tooth and gum, causing the pain. I breathed a sigh of relief, even though the inevitable has merely been delayed.

As I lay in the dark waiting for the painkillers to kick in, working myself into a state of panic, this tune rolled gently, but insistently around my brain. The band is Carissa's Wierd (yes, that's how they spelt it) and the tune, appropriately enough, is 'Farewell to All These Rotten Teeth' from their glorious 2002 LP 'Songs About Leaving.' The band split in 2003, leaving a small catalogue, of which this album is the peak. Mat Brooke went on to join Band of Horses and then form his current outfit, Grand Archives, while Jenn Ghetto currently trades as 'S'.

As mental preparation for what will one day surely come, if anyone has a positive dentist experience to share, I'd be delighted to hear it. Meantime, enjoy the tune and don't forget to floss.