Friday Photo #78

Yesterday evening saw the final ever Late Show with Stephen Colbert, following its cancellation by the CBS network. Colbert's tenure ends after eleven years, the past nine of them at No.1 in the ratings. The blame for the scrapping of the Late Show franchise has been widely placed in the hands of the current US administration, who have individually and collectively borne the brunt of Colbert's hilariously withering political analysis, delivered during his monologues at the top of each show. 

I was lucky enough to attend recordings of The Late Show while visiting my cousin and her family in both 2023 and 2025 and sitting in the historic Ed Sullivan Theatre is a hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck experience I can tell you. In the attached video, Colbert leads a short guided tour of his set and surroundings, touching on a little of the theatre's back story.

Over the past few years, an occasional feature of the show has been the amusingly titled Colbert Questionert, where a celebrity guest is asked 15 quick-fire questions, a mixture of the deep and the flippant, with the aim to become truly 'known' by Stephen - there are plenty of examples available to peruse on YouTube. To mark the end of The Late Show, as a two time former attendee, I'm now taking the Colbert Questionert.

1. What’s the best sandwich? 

Eye-wateringly strong cheddar, with thinly sliced red onion and sweet chili sauce. 

2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? 

I have two large dolls of my Mum's from when she was a kid in the early 1930s. They're in a box together with a selection of baby clothes that were worn by my brother, the child my parents lost in unbearably tragic circumstances two years before I came along. The contents of the box aren't directly connected to me, have no commercial value and I have no-one to pass them on to, yet, over 15 years after Mum's death, I can't bring myself to part with them. 

3. What is the scariest animal? 

Any animal protecting its young. A couple of summers ago I made the rookie mistake of walking between a cow and its calf while crossing a field in the middle of nowhere. I was a good distance from both animals, but the cow was not amused and became quite agitated. They are intimidatingly large up close. Bulls, of course, even more so.

4. Apples or oranges? 

Apples. 

5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? 

Many, many times, since I was a very young kid going to speedway matches with my Dad. Later musicians, I still get LPs signed today if I get the chance. 

6. What do you think happens when we die? 

The rest is silence. 

7. Earliest memory? 

I have a couple of early memories, both involve me crying hysterically. One was falling down the stairs at home, the other was temporarily losing sight of Mum & Dad while shopping in Clacton-on-Sea. I would've been 3-4 years of age on both occasions. Also, come to think of it, my first day at school, when I became so hysterical that the staff had to call Mum in to take me home and calm me down. What a melodramatic child I was in 1964.

8. Favourite smell? 

Really good coffee. 

9. Least favourite smell? 

Boiling beetroot. It felt as if my aunt, who lived upstairs from me when I was a child, boiled beetroot morning, noon and night - I can still smell the gag-inducing aroma now. Also, I can't let this question pass with mentioning mushrooms - the smell, the texture, the taste. They truly are the devil's shite. 

10. Exercise: worth it? 

Absolutely, physically and mentally. I'm only sorry that I left it relatively late in life to figure that out. 

11. Flat or sparkling? 

Beer flat, water sparkling.

12. Most used app on your phone? 

Pocket Casts. I listen to podcasts by day and night. 

13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? (Colbert points out that this doesn’t mean listening to it on repeat, but every time you choose to listen to music this is the only song you’ll hear). 

The piece of music I could literally listen to on a permanent loop is 'Circle in the Round' by Miles Davis, though given that it's 30+ minutes long I'm probably bending the rules a bit. If we're talking about a normal length song, '1952 Vincent Black Lightning' by Richard Thompson is very difficult to beat, particularly a live acoustic version. 

14. Window or aisle? 

If we're talking flying, it makes little difference. I'll have no legroom either way and spend the entire flight in a state of extreme anxiety. For ground transportation I'll take a window. 

15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words. 

All over bar the shouting.