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Greatest Hits
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It's the summer of 1974. Go down to the bottom of my road, through the park, round the edge of the allotments beyond, on past the cricke...
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I started to seriously look into my family tree over the past winter, in an effort to make sense of the paper trail left by Mum. In the 1980...
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Somehow, don't ask me exactly how it happened, I seem to have reached the grand old age of 57. Last time I checked, I could've sw...
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There's been a lot of stuff going on lately, some happy stuff, some sad stuff and I'll get back to all that in due course with any l...
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'I'm post-laughter' says Stewart Lee. Expanding on this statement, he imagines an audience member's conversation the morn...
7 comments:
Simon: OK, guys, what do you call yourselves?
Brian: Er, The Beach Boys, sir.
Simon: And do you do this for a living?
Dennis: We'd like to, sir, but at the moment I'm spending a lot of time with my surf board.
Simon: So this is surf music?
Brian: Yes, sir!
Simon: OK, let's hear it!
Two minutes, later...
Simon: Look guys, I'm sure you are all lovely people but the fact is, you have no musical talent whatsoever.
Louis: Oh, come on! These are great lads who just need a break. A little of my Irish spit and polish could easily turn them into the next Westlife. It's a 'Yes' from me!
Simon: I'm sorry but not even a pitch modulator could do it for you. You'll never be as good as the greats like Matt Cardle or Little Mix. Don't give up the day job...it's a 'No' from me.
Brian: F***** English w******!!
The following year...
Simon: Hang on, haven't we seen you guys before?
Brian: Yes, sir. We're The Beach Boys.
Simon: Oh, no, no. Who let you in? OK, what have you go this time?
Brian: We're going to sing a tune I wrote about vegetables!
Inspired.
And a great, cheery start to the day - thank you!
PS - As was SB's response :-)
Spot on SB!!
Brilliant Mr Bear, quite brilliant!
Mildly amusing...but SB was right there....can you imagine Dylan on the Xfactor...
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