I'm a silly boy. I haven't visited a dentist since 1987. The blame for this lies in the physical and mental trauma inflicted on me by my dentist at that time. He was a monster who seemed to revel in my fear and pain.
While not up to the gleaming standards
of Keith Richards' or David Bowie's dental upgrades, my most visible molars are
actually doing quite nicely, but out
of sight, at the back of the mouth,
problems are lurking. I'll spare you
the gory details, but suffice it to
say that if and when I do pluck up the
courage to sign up to a new dentist,
there'll be serious surgery involved. Surprisingly I've had no actual pain
from my teeth over the last 25 years,
perhaps if I had, it would have given
me the kick I needed to seek out and
join a new dental practice.
Last night, however, I woke at 1.30am with a
prodding discomfort at the back of my
mouth, but on the opposite side to
where I would have expected. I took
some painkillers and worried for a
couple of hours before drifting off to
sleep again. Come this morning, after
closer inspection, it appears a piece
of peel or pip had become wedged
between tooth and gum, causing the
pain. I breathed a sigh of relief,
even though the inevitable has merely
As I lay in the dark waiting for the
painkillers to kick in, working myself
into a state of panic, this tune
rolled gently, but insistently around
my brain. The band is Carissa's Wierd
(yes, that's how they spelt it) and
the tune, appropriately enough, is
'Farewell to All These Rotten Teeth'
from their glorious 2002 LP 'Songs
About Leaving.' The band split in
2003, leaving a small catalogue, of
which this album is the peak. Mat
Brooke went on to join Band of Horses
and then form his current outfit,
Grand Archives, while Jenn Ghetto
currently trades as 'S'.
As mental preparation for what will
one day surely come, if anyone has a
positive dentist experience to share,
I'd be delighted to hear it. Meantime,
enjoy the tune and don't forget to floss.
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