Thursday 13 August 2020

Trashed


A song cropped up on the radio recently that sent me whizzing back to a specific moment of a relationship I shared in the mid-1990s. J & I had been mates for some time before it became more and we ended up spending over two years together. We laughed, we went to a ridiculous amount of gigs, we went on holiday to America, we got silly drunk, we had a lot of fun. Everything in the garden was rosy. Then J introduced a notion. Perhaps saying that she wanted to settle down there and then would be to put too formal a stamp on it, but she was certainly looking for some form of....commitment. I wobbled, clearly thrown by the thought, even though at this point I was already in my mid-thirties. In reality I was an immature, overgrown teenager and selfishly I didn't want our innocent, unencumbered fun to end.

Inevitably and quite rightly, J eventually kicked me into touch. I was pretty upset, but somewhere deep inside I knew it was the right move for her and for where she wanted to go in life. She eventually married and had four fantastic kids. J & I have remained friends and I even went to her wedding, ultimately becoming pretty good mates with her husband. I've been to a number of gigs with him over the years, including one in 2019 with their oldest son who's now in his twenties.

So the song and the memory that sent me spiralling back? Late one evening in the Summer of 1996 (from this remote distance it feels like it might well have been the most carefree evening of my entire life) J & I fell laughing out of  a bar, drunkenly stumbling and weaving our way through the completely deserted town centre. A favourite song of the day came to us and together, staggering along arm in arm, we sang it loudly into the night air, joined only by the echo reverberating from the dark shuttered shopfronts. When it came to the chorus, our impromptu, but appropriate amendment of the lyric saw us collapse to the ground in fits of giggles.

'...we're trashed, you and me...'


8 comments:

John Medd said...

I know exactly what you mean. It only takes one chord, sometimes only one note, and you're back; back in time where life was more fun. And less complicated.

C said...

What an absolutely lovely post. Such a great attitude all round to be able to remain good friends and get on so well with J's husband and family - really heartwarming. Plus a great song choice, I love Trash - I'm currently reading Brett Anderson's 'Afternoons With the Blinds Drawn' too and it's a fab book. Lots of background to the songs including this one, highly recommended if you haven't already read.

Alyson said...

I'm right back in the moment all the time - As John says, it only takes one chord. Currently I'm back in 1978 becuase of a particular earworm I'm afflicted with this week, but certainly a time when relationships were all about having fun and not about making commitments. Great that you have stayed good friends with J and now her family too - How it was meant to be obviously. I have my thoughts on the subject of commitment and I know you've dropped by the comments boxes when I've brought it up at my place. Once I was in my late 20s I had a "3 month rule" and fortunately for both of us Mr WIAA passed. Makes me sound ruthless but best to be upfront and not faff about I always thought!

Like the sound of that autobiography and if C recommends it must be good.

Swiss Adam said...

Yep, really good post Swede. Funny how a song, the opening bar or chord, can do that. That particular song has a similar effect on me too.

George said...

" In reality I was an immature, overgrown teenager"
Are you any different now? Are any of us?

The Swede said...

Thanks for dropping by all. In the fullness of time I hope to get back to writing more in the style of this kind of post. Watch this space. As for Suede, controversially in some quarters, Coming Up is far and away my favourite LP by them. I'll add Brett's autobiography to the list C, thanks.

Swiss Adam said...

I can recommend Brett's autobiographies even if you've got only a passing interest in Suede. Well written, honest and evoking time and place really well.

Brian said...

Great storytelling and song selection, Swede.

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