I haven't eaten meat for nearly 25 years,
but I refuse to become one of those irritating, 'holier than thou', vegetarians who make
exaggerated gagging noises if someone dares
to eat a ham sandwich within a hundred yard
radius of them. Indeed, personally, I'm far
more repulsed by the thought of a plate of
mushrooms landing on an adjacent restaurant
table, than a big juicy steak. There is,
however, one regular misconception about vegetarianism that rarely fails to wind me up. The fish thing.
Our local pub re-opened late last year. It
was purchased by a resident of the village
who has put a great deal of time, effort and
money into the establishment. The decor is
clean, the staff pleasant, the beer well kept
and I'm happy to report that business appears
to be booming in the old place.
As I perused lunch menu on my first visit to
the newly re-opened hostelry, it appeared that
veggie lasagne was my only option. Not a
problem, but I thought I'd double check with
a member of staff. 'Is there just the one
vegetarian option on the menu today?' I
asked. 'Oh no sir, we have fish and chips or
salmon as well' came the very polite reply.
'But I'm a vegetarian' I said. 'Oh, but some
vegetarians eat fish' she said. I sighed
inwardly. A very deep sigh. I thanked her and
left it at that.
The veggie option
About a month later, I dropped into the pub
again, intending to grab some lunch. The
staff on duty on this visit were different,
though just as polite and helpful, but the
conversation was virtually identical. 'Some
vegetarians eat fish' said the lady. 'They're
not vegetarians then,' I replied with a
smile. 'Oh yes,' she continued, 'I've got a
friend who's a vegetarian and she eats
fish...' I sighed inwardly. A very deep sigh.
I thanked her and left it at that.
I'm reluctant to make a fuss. I worked in
catering for over 10 years and know what a
demanding job it is and just how demoralizing
a seemingly awkward customer can be. Also, I
don't want to be perceived as one of
those
vegetarians. I did, however, feel that I
ought to give a little feedback, so I emailed
the Manager of the pub, congratulating him on
the staff, service and quality of the beer
and, rather than complaining, merely enquired
if there were any plans to expand their
selection of vegetarian offerings, explaining
that there was only one such item available
on each of my previous visits. A couple of
days later I received a very pleasant reply
from the manager thanking me for my comments
and pointing out that the pub also offers a
range of fish dishes that are suitable for
vegetarians! This, I have to say, floored me
and I immediately drafted a terse response,
explaining the definition of vegetarianism at
great length and how it differs from
pescetarianism. But, as I said, I hate to
make a fuss. So, after a few minutes, when I'd calmed down, I decided not to send the email.
Instead, I sighed inwardly. A very deep sigh and left it at that.
Mind you, this doesn't look particularly appetising. Anyone fancy a salad?
As if that wasn't bad enough...... A couple of weeks ago I paid a return visit
to our local Medical Centre, to get the
results of some recent tests. Previously, my
blood pressure was a shade high, but this
time it seemed normal. The nurse expressed some
concern, however, at my cholesterol levels.
My 'bad' cholesterol is a bit high apparently
and she urged me to cut down on red meat and
fatty foods. I explained that I've been a
vegetarian for 25 years and although I used
to consume mountains of cheese sandwiches and
veggie pasties, these days I virtually live
on salad and fruit, with any variance from
this diet (such as on chip night) being regarded
as a bit of a treat. My 'good' cholesterol,
however, appears to be a bit on the low side.
I asked the nurse what steps I could take to
improve the situation. 'Eat more fish' she
said. I reminded her that I've been a
vegetarian for 25 years. 'Oh,' she said,
'don't you eat fish? Some vegetarians do you know'. I
sighed inwardly. An
extremely deep sigh. I
thanked her and left it at that.
Here's Dean Torrence (Dean from Jan and Dean)
trading as Laughing Gravy (vegetarian gravy, natch), with an
interpretation of 'Vegetables', released just
one month after The Beach Boys original, in
October 1967.
